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the longer i think on this the clearer it all gets. which, in all reality, is a total miracle. sometimes it can take hours or days to contemplate on howling and rationalize. it took me minutes.

so we’re designed to keep trying. designed to push and argue. i’m done with that.

we’re designed to let go when holding breaks bones and spirits. i’m done with that too.

we’re designed to break down and allow for waves and bends and curls and pauses.

I’m so. Done. With that.

because everything I want is right here. i just have to stop pushing. i have to keep holding. and i have to keep from breaking down.

i mean, really, the question here isn’t what i would do. or what i want.

it’s do i want this enough, do i love this enough to stop.

and I do.

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