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there aren’t words for this one.

well…

let me rephrase that.

there’s one word for this one:    absence.

it’s rather intoxicating. numbing. maddening? mainly… I just kind of want to sleep.

Not like you and I do on a daily basis. I want to really, truly sleep. The kind of sleep where you don’t dream, you don’t think, and you wake up wondering where you are, what time it is, and who you are.  I had one hour of this beautiful insanity today, and i want it back.

And of course I feel guilty and angry and empty and broken. But more than that, beyond all of that is absence. Something’s not here. So I’m not really either.

Every over emotional ballad i’ve ever heard, every claim of love, every sonnet is spilling back over my mind in a wave of violent color. It doesn’t stop. I’m attached to things i never knew and connected to things i didn’t want.

un angel del cielo…

i’m going to sleep.

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One Comment

  1. wow. There’s nothing that I can really say about this. It’s very emotional.


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